What I’ve been up to…
What have I been up to?
It’s been three years since I published my first book and became an indie author.
It’s been three years and I’ve only published two books. Some would say that’s crap. I’m not well known, I haven’t hit a bestseller list, and I don’t have the world’s greatest Amazon rankings. To be honest, I don’t care.
There are times when I feel like a failure. I feel like I set out to do something, to be something, and it didn’t pan out. But that’s not true. There are times when I feel like I’m invisible because I’m not constantly posting on my Facebook page and I don’t always talk about my writing. It isn’t because I’m not proud of what I’ve done, what I want to continue to do. It’s not because I don’t want people reading my books. It’s simply because I am busy with life and my real life is more important than the fantasy that I love to create. And also because I am a major introvert and get really shy when people ask me about my books.
In three years I have been through a divorce, began working full time, continued to be a mother to my now ten almost eleven year old, met a man, fell in love, had another beautiful baby girl, a dog, a cat, a step daughter, and am planning a wedding for October. To say things have been busy is an understatement. Life is chaotic and crazy and I wouldn’t change it for the world.
The only thing I would like to change is having more time so that I can continue doing what I love, writing.
I haven’t read but maybe three books in the last two years. That’s bad. That isn’t like me at all. But when you have as much going on as I do, it’s difficult to get the quiet time, let alone private time to read or write. And I still work full time.
I miss being a part of the indie community. I miss talking all things books for hours with fellow authors and bloggers. I miss sitting down in front of my computer with some caffeine and some music and just getting lost for hours. And one day, I hope to get back to being able to do just that.
The stories haven’t gone away. The ideas in my head are constantly swirling, but they get put on the back burner a lot because I’ve got a baby to feed and change. I have an older daughter and step daughter to raise. I have a soon to be husband to spend time with. And man oh man do I love spending time with him. He’s like every great book boyfriend is in real life. He’s my Edward Cullen, my Christian Grey, my Simon Silver, my Zeppelin Rhodes, my everything.
Basically, what I’m trying to say is that I’m not going anywhere. I will continue to write where I can and if people stick around, they will see more from me. I just can’t put a timeline on anything yet. I can’t guarantee to have a book out in a few months or a year. I just don’t know because I’m not sure where life is taking me. I promise though that I am bound and determined to get more out there for the world. And even if I write one hundred books or only two more, I will be satisfied with my life.
At the end of the day, I’ve done something that some only dream of. I faced my fears and went for it because I wanted to. That’s something I can share with my children, that something people have said they admire me for. I’m okay with that.
So don’t count me out yet. I still have other dreams to accomplish like having paperbacks in stores and going to a signing. I’ll get there in due time and hey, maybe one day if I work really super hard, I’ll have a book turn into a movie 😉
To those that have stuck around, who have encouraged me, read my books, reviewed them, etc., THANK YOU! I couldn’t do anything without the love and support of my family, my friends, and those in the indie community that have taken chances on me.